Hi, Andy. You and I have been talking for fairly a long time and I have made the decision to permit you to become my stationary living toilet. Im on vacation and Im sorry give my poop to that gluttonous porcelain toilet. Thats why I expect you to arrive at the end of the week. You will drink my urine, wipe my dirty booty with your toilet tongue and eat feces. Welcome, you my fresh toilet cup, now you dont have a name. Open your mouth, I want to piss and poop, this is your first taste of my smelly chocolate treat. Yes, well done, take everything straight into your mouth and swallow without chewing. Not enough shit, but nothing, youll get more later. Enjoy the aftertaste of my shit and wait for my return. Wake up toilet bowl I know its night, but I promised Id come back, open your mouth faster, Im going to shit in it. Eat, get used to eating my shit day and night, any time of the day. Youre doing well for the first day, so I think Ill leave you here for the entire vacation, which is more than a month. Congratulations, you are now officially my toilet bowl and shit-eater.